Some times other people life looks so easy from out side. Even if the person struggles a problem whether it is major or minor one, it seems like there is no problem. How does same situation have different effects on people? Each of us has different reaction to death, birth, pain, sickness etc. How do some people easily move on with their lives after bad things happen to them? Why is it difficult for the rest?
Resilience is the key answer.
Origin of “resilience” is Latin word called “Resilire” (to rebound/reconcile) which is combination of “Re” (to back) and “Salire”(to jump/leap)¹. Let’s have a look dictionary definition of resilience word:
Resilience: The ability of people or things to recover quickly after something unpleasant, such as shock, injury, etc.
Definition is quite straightforward, right? But how to recover quickly after something bad has happened? There are several elements that affect how people adapt themselves to changes. According to American Psychological Association, below three factors are most affecting ones²:
- How you see and engage the world
- Social resources
- Coping Strategies
Life is not straightforward. There is no formula for situations and reasonable answer for accidents, event, people etc. Things happen. Questioning whys and staying that state usually does not help to overcome the situation. We should be able to move on. Ease varies people to people. It may not be easy. Change is though. But knowing how to build resilience can help you to plan this change.
Building Resilience
There are many attributes of resilience. It is hard to find complete list for characteristics of resilience. However, below list may help you to develop resilience skills.
Social Support
Having strong relationship and social network is one of the key to become resilient. Because, you can always get their support during challenging times. Circle of reliable people will give you confidence about you do not have to do this alone.
Well Being
It is important that you have awareness about your well being both emotionally and physically. Healthy habits improve your behaviors and thoughts generally. It helps to manage stress better way.
- Start organize your eating and sleeping habits
- Physical activities — gym, yoga etc.
- Practice meditation
- Practice self-compassion
Finding Purpose
Purpose helps you to create focus. Finding purpose or meaning of life helps you to stay stronger during challenging times.
Positive Attitude
Optimism is a tricky. Keeping positive attitude does not mean that ignoring reality. There is a good combination of both — realistic optimism which means that finding balance between negative and positive things.³ For example, you can try out listing three positive things about happening you labeled as unlucky or bad. I recommend also expressive writing. Expressive Writing can help us during emotional challenge.
How To Start
Self awareness is key to know where you stand currently. But Don’t worry if it is not obvious for you. It is important to be aware of how you are feeling and what is happening to you. Review your daily life and evaluate your reaction to situation. Are you usually pessimist? Do you find yourself thinking about mistake you have done? Maybe you do not have healthy habits for your well-being. You know yourself better than anyone else and have the courage change yourself and move forward.
“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” — Confucius
[1] Online Etymology Dictionary. Resilience. https://www.etymonline.com/word/resilience
[2] American Psychological Association. Psychology Topics-Resilience. https://www.apa.org/topics/resilience
[3] Forbes. How to Incorporate Realistic Optimism Into Your Life. Date of Access: 20 Nov 2022https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2021/01/07/how-to-incorporate-realistic-optimism-into-your-life/?sh=de689f876f0f
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